Thursday, November 5, 2009

What waiters should never do

Bruce Buschel has compiled a list of 100 things restaurant staffers should never do. I've supplemented this with a list of my own geared to Indian restaurants. Please add your own pet peeves.


drag furniture across hard floors while setting tables if some guests are already seated.

form chatting huddles at the counter or in corners.

proffer plastic bottles of water for temperature checks.

watch the cricket match on TV instead of attending to guests.

crouch, or place a hand on a chair and lean down to speak.

automatically suggest the most expensive item on the menu when asked for recommendations.

presume guests will order a particular dish because they have done so the last dozen times they visited.

insist on helping guests place napkins on their lap after they indicate they are capable of doing it themselves.

be stingy with menus by having two guests share a card and then snatching it away at the first opportunity.

place the bill before the male rather than at a neutral spot after a couple finishes dining.

Serve red wine warm (room temperature in Bombay is rather higher than room temperature in Bordeaux).



Watch while the guest eats. Especially watching every step from picking the food to chewing to gulping it down.

Pretend they know what a particular dish is when they don't

And a very BIG NO to nose picking and crotch adjustments. We have come to eat, not puke.

Unknown said...

I thought only wine bottles are proffered for make, years and temperature... But here in India, beer, coke/pepsi everything goes.. :)

Also, I agree with "the love with the menu cards".. They snatch it as we would find the hidden map to their ancestral property..

If dining with a foreigner-friend, the bill/cheque automatically lands in the white hand... In fact that I have seen this happening in taxis, autos too..

globalbabble said...

Ohhh come on! I love it when they automatically hand the pin machine to Sid and he then hands it over to me. The waiters get horribly flustered - it is priceless! No, they should totally continue with the practice!

Blackfayth said...

Somewhat of an extension to GB's comment.
Me and a (girl) friend were at a birthday celebration. We are standing together and this conversation transpires:-

Friend: "Large Teachers please... lots of ice... no water or soda"
Bar Dude: "And for you madam?"

We walked away from the bar with my friend muttering something about the Bar Dude's sister, momma and assorted family members.

jaimit said...

yaah... i have never understood the menu card shortage. the fancy restaurants can surely afford a few more fancy menu cards, where as the cheap laminated print outs surely cant cost as much.
they dont like you sharing the food but want you sharing tne menus.

joseph said...

And here's something for waiters and restaurants in Delhi (probably all of North India): Learn what tablespoons and teaspoons are. Know the difference. Know what goes with what.
I can live without soup spoons and dessert spoons. Just get the two basics right.

And Gujju waiters: the combination is spoon+fork, not teaspoon+teaspoon.

Anonymous said...

BO - solve that!! They stand next to you, lean over you when placing stuff at the table and stink! It makes me gag, and it embarrasses me in front of guests (note: refraining from saying guests from cooler countries).

Just WASH. person and clothing. And change.

Rita Putatunda said...

Not serve one person while the rest of the group salivates. Happens in udipi places all the time.